Dating Etiquette
Dating etiquette comes naturally to people who already have good manners and show consideration for others at all times. It has become second nature to them; they are not self-centered and are respected by people of either sex.
By the end of this page you will know whether you have good dating etiquette or not. If not – practice, practice, practice good manners with every person you encounter every day. It will change your world for the better.
When people date they usually share a common objective – they hope to win over the object of their affection. They therefore want to give a favourable impression of themselves. Hopefully, they will also bring out the best in their date.
The fact that you have read this far indicates that you want to know how to behave properly on your date so that you can practice good dating etiquette; a good start.
Dating Etiquette - General
The rules are basically the same for teens, the middle aged and seniors, first date or last date, girls or guys.
Primary rule – girls and guys, treat your date with dignity and respect; this applies to online dating as well.
Don’t know what dignity and respect are? Read on to find out:
No swearing. Broaden your vocabulary beyond a few repetitive expletives
No drunkenness. Being stoned or wasted only gets a laugh from your yobbo mates at your expense
Act like a lady or gentleman. You will feel better for it
Be that way during your first date right until your last and see what a difference it will make to you, your dates and your life
Dating Etiquette - Before the date
Do not expect your prospect to be available for a date at short notice. Ask a few days in advance of the proposed date. Set a meeting time and if possible an ending time
If the person cannot or will not be available for a date at the second request – they are not interested. Don’t push the issue. Move on
Guys usually initiate the first date or two (it is ok for the girl to initiate it if they are already good friends) after that either may do so
Whoever initiates it – plan to have at least one alternative place to go to or of what to do. Give the other person time to think about it and perhaps come up with other options. Discuss it with dignity. This is a good opportunity to agree on who pays for what
Guys, be prepared to pay for the date (especially the first one). Subsequent ones can be worked out in due course when you know a bit more about each other. Never spring it on her to cough up. If you pay, understand that there must be no strings attached
Girls, be considerate - offer to pay half OR to buy the drinks or something to show that you are not a freeloader. It’ll blow the socks off them!! Then there can be no strings attached and you can maintain your independence. But don’t sweat the issue - you could talk about it on the way to the venue so that you are prepared. You could offer to cook a meal or bring a picnic basket to the next date if there is the possibility of a follow up date
Be prepared ahead of time to have a few topics for light hearted conversation; nothing too controversial. No strong opinions please
Remember that the objective of a date is generally to assess the potential of coming together to be a couple in a close permanent relationship in so far as permanency goes
Never stand up your date. Postpone rather than cancel. Do not just fail to show up. That would be despicable dating etiquette
Dating Etiquette - During the Date
Be on time. It shows respect for your date’s time. If you are running late ring and give a new ETA
Dress appropriately for the occasion. Clean hair, clothes and person. Lightly perfumed or with deodorizer/after shave
Guys – open, hold open and close doors for your date (even if she is driving). It shows that you are prepared to go out of your way to be courteous to her
Girls - let him, but don’t expect it. Either way, be gracious about it; smile or thank him. This is not the time to push your liberated female views. Some other time….maybe
Girls usually precede guys in the theatre, church, movies, to the table at a restaurant and most other places and guys help her to be seated - sophisticated dating etiquette
Guys on the other hand lead the way through crowds and traffic. On sidewalks, guys should walk nearest the street to ‘protect’ the girl - you get the idea
Compliment each other. Neither is perfect, there has to be something to compliment with sincerity. Look for it. Hair; clothes; smile; car; jewellery? If you can’t find something, why are you dating this person? Blind date? Practice being gracious right to the end. Next time start with a cup of coffee first – just to test the water
Being attentive to your date does not mean totally excluding all others in the group or at the party
Be pleasant to your date. Talking down to your date or being patronising is not good etiquette
Remember your manners. Say – please, thank you, after you, you’re welcome, etc
Acknowledge each others’ courtesies with a smile and/or ‘thank you’
Show a keen interest in your date. Make frequent eye contact (do not leer)
Use their name – frequently. To them it is the sweetest word in any language
Never feign affection. This is cruel and deceitful and could lead to problems
If this is a first date enquire delicately to elicit information about likes and dislikes; values and expectations; interests, dreams and aspirations
At each subsequent date widen the field of your inquiry in a casual conversational manner while also imparting more information about yourself
Avoid bragging and talking too much about anything, especially yourself. Turn the conversation around to get your date’s views and contribution to the subject
Keep the conversation light and try to have fun together
Use humor, but don't overdo it
Keep it clean
Don’t lie to your date
Ask before you smoke. Non-smokers sometimes cannot abide smokers breath or are allergic to cigarette smoke. Definitely don’t smoke during the meal
It is bad etiquette to enforce your own rights over the comfort of others, Don’t do it
Do not have unreasonable expectations of your date. Remember – dignity and respect
Do what is expected of you and not what you want to do
Do not force intimacy. If it happens it happens. If not it’s probably too soon
Avoid sharing confidences. It puts your date in an awkward position
Guys, see her to her door after the date. It’s for her safety
A friendly hug in greeting or to say good bye may be ok or perhaps a kiss on the cheek. Play it by ear
Dating Etiquette - After the Date
If you promise to ring or contact your date again, you must do it – within a reasonable time frame or do not make the offer. Try no more than twice
It’s ok to date others until you have clearly come to an understanding or are going steady
It is best to discuss your intentions with sensitivity and patience
Keep practicing good manners. Remember – dignity and respect
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