Dating Etiquette


Dating etiquette comes naturally to people who already have good manners and show consideration for others at all times. It has become second nature to them; they are not self-centered and are respected by people of either sex.

By the end of this page you will know whether you have good dating etiquette or not. If not – practice, practice, practice good manners with every person you encounter every day. It will change your world for the better.

When people date they usually share a common objective – they hope to win over the object of their affection. They therefore want to give a favourable impression of themselves. Hopefully, they will also bring out the best in their date.


The fact that you have read this far indicates that you want to know how to behave properly on your date so that you can practice good dating etiquette; a good start.

Dating Etiquette - General

The rules are basically the same for teens, the middle aged and seniors, first date or last date, girls or guys.

Primary rule – girls and guys, treat your date with dignity and respect; this applies to online dating as well.

Don’t know what dignity and respect are? Read on to find out:

No swearing. Broaden your vocabulary beyond a few repetitive expletives

No drunkenness. Being stoned or wasted only gets a laugh from your yobbo mates at your expense

Act like a lady or gentleman. You will feel better for it

Be that way during your first date right until your last and see what a difference it will make to you, your dates and your life

Dating Etiquette - Before the date


Do not expect your prospect to be available for a date at short notice. Ask a few days in advance of the proposed date. Set a meeting time and if possible an ending time

If the person cannot or will not be available for a date at the second request – they are not interested. Don’t push the issue. Move on

Guys usually initiate the first date or two (it is ok for the girl to initiate it if they are already good friends) after that either may do so

Whoever initiates it – plan to have at least one alternative place to go to or of what to do. Give the other person time to think about it and perhaps come up with other options. Discuss it with dignity. This is a good opportunity to agree on who pays for what

Guys, be prepared to pay for the date (especially the first one). Subsequent ones can be worked out in due course when you know a bit more about each other. Never spring it on her to cough up. If you pay, understand that there must be no strings attached

Girls, be considerate - offer to pay half OR to buy the drinks or something to show that you are not a freeloader. It’ll blow the socks off them!! Then there can be no strings attached and you can maintain your independence. But don’t sweat the issue - you could talk about it on the way to the venue so that you are prepared. You could offer to cook a meal or bring a picnic basket to the next date if there is the possibility of a follow up date

Be prepared ahead of time to have a few topics for light hearted conversation; nothing too controversial. No strong opinions please

Remember that the objective of a date is generally to assess the potential of coming together to be a couple in a close permanent relationship in so far as permanency goes

Never stand up your date. Postpone rather than cancel. Do not just fail to show up. That would be despicable dating etiquette

Dating Etiquette - During the Date

Be on time. It shows respect for your date’s time. If you are running late ring and give a new ETA

Dress appropriately for the occasion. Clean hair, clothes and person. Lightly perfumed or with deodorizer/after shave

Guys – open, hold open and close doors for your date (even if she is driving). It shows that you are prepared to go out of your way to be courteous to her

Girls - let him, but don’t expect it. Either way, be gracious about it; smile or thank him. This is not the time to push your liberated female views. Some other time….maybe

Girls usually precede guys in the theatre, church, movies, to the table at a restaurant and most other places and guys help her to be seated - sophisticated dating etiquette

Guys on the other hand lead the way through crowds and traffic. On sidewalks, guys should walk nearest the street to ‘protect’ the girl - you get the idea

Compliment each other. Neither is perfect, there has to be something to compliment with sincerity. Look for it. Hair; clothes; smile; car; jewellery? If you can’t find something, why are you dating this person? Blind date? Practice being gracious right to the end. Next time start with a cup of coffee first – just to test the water

Do not abandon your date at the venue. Be close and attentive or it may become your last date with that person

Being attentive to your date does not mean totally excluding all others in the group or at the party

Be pleasant to your date. Talking down to your date or being patronising is not good etiquette

Remember your manners. Say – please, thank you, after you, you’re welcome, etc

Acknowledge each others’ courtesies with a smile and/or ‘thank you’

Show a keen interest in your date. Make frequent eye contact (do not leer)

Use their name – frequently. To them it is the sweetest word in any language

Never feign affection. This is cruel and deceitful and could lead to problems

If this is a first date enquire delicately to elicit information about likes and dislikes; values and expectations; interests, dreams and aspirations

At each subsequent date widen the field of your inquiry in a casual conversational manner while also imparting more information about yourself

Avoid bragging and talking too much about anything, especially yourself. Turn the conversation around to get your date’s views and contribution to the subject

Keep the conversation light and try to have fun together

Use humor, but don't overdo it

Keep it clean

Don’t lie to your date

Ask before you smoke. Non-smokers sometimes cannot abide smokers breath or are allergic to cigarette smoke. Definitely don’t smoke during the meal

It is bad etiquette to enforce your own rights over the comfort of others, Don’t do it

Do not have unreasonable expectations of your date. Remember – dignity and respect

Do what is expected of you and not what you want to do

Do not force intimacy. If it happens it happens. If not it’s probably too soon

Avoid sharing confidences. It puts your date in an awkward position

Guys, see her to her door after the date. It’s for her safety

A friendly hug in greeting or to say good bye may be ok or perhaps a kiss on the cheek. Play it by ear


Dating Etiquette - After the Date

If you promise to ring or contact your date again, you must do it – within a reasonable time frame or do not make the offer. Try no more than twice

It’s ok to date others until you have clearly come to an understanding or are going steady

It is best to discuss your intentions with sensitivity and patience

Keep practicing good manners. Remember – dignity and respect

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